Feeling the gift

[Mianoel]

On the assistance group's day off, I felt a sincere longing to experience a true friendship. I walked into the lobby area and Rui walks up to me and asks if I want to explore the Noosa beaches with him. We had an amazing day and have been friends since. The other day, the love i felt coming from him during a Skype call was so unexpected that I went to process, softened and experienced big grief.

I talked to God asking why this was having such a huge impact on me, and I don't seem to be feeling God's love as intensely. And I immediately got my answer: I BELIEVE GOD SHOULD LOVE ME. Because I believe a parent SHOULD love his child.

For the first time I could feel the importance of love being a gift, otherwise it can't truly be received. A gift has a quality of being somehow UNEXPECTED.

I never expected my friend Rui to love me the way he does. The crazy thing is he IS choosing to love me. I can't even blame it on him maybe wanting to sleep with me because he is a gay soul! I usually work hard to earn love, but in this case I hadn't been trying.

Thank you Rui for helping me understand what a true gift is, and how my expectations towards my parents or God can prevent any love from entering my soul.

[Mary]

Hi Mia, hi Rui,

I thought it would be beneficial to point out that a person's sexual orientation doesn't necessarily negate their ability or tendency to project sexual energy at people of either gender.

Rui does have very strong projections at women that are both sexual and needy. He is very desperate for women's positive attention and is used to projecting a lot of emotional energy at women in order to try and attain women's approval. Some of that energy is quite sexual in nature. Lots of women respond to these kinds of projections from men, sometimes especially from gay men, because it meets addictive emotional desires within themselves, including the desire for sexual 'affirmation' and attention or closeness from a man without the expectation of sex.

It can be tempting to view addictive relationships or addictive elements in relationships as loving so as to avoid other emotions within ourselves.

Cheers
Mary

[Mianoel]

Thank you!

Mia