Unsure of my physical experience
Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 12:03 pm
Hi I'm new to this forum and am looking for advice.
About 15 months ago I decided to experiment with Divine Love teachings for the first time. In particular I wanted to know if Spirits existed.
So one day I decided to sit in a room (where my daughter was having a day nap at the time) and just sit there to see what happens. Mind you I felt terrified and scared of potentially seeing a ghost etc. So I started of praying to God to help me believe that they exist and to be brave to experience my fear.
The curtains in the room were drawn shut and the window was closed. There was no fan or air con on in the room at the time. Suddenly the curtains lifted up like someone had pulled them forward and dropped them. I was absolutely terrified at this point, and pushed on. I started to feel a wave of heat beginning from my feet crawling up along my legs, up to my chest and down through to my hands. I started crying intensely like a child and trying to breath deeply diaphamatically so that I remained in my body. I covered my face with my hands while praying out aloud to help me through my fear. I felt like there was someone (possibly my late grandmother) sitting in front of me trying to help me get through it and to not be afraid and felt like if I had opened my eyes I would see someone. Then suddenly I got interrupted by my oldest child walking through the door asking to fix something. At that time I went to pickup the item my child was giving to me and I couldn't feel my fingers. I was aware that I couldn't control my own hand and fingers to grip the object. It felt rigid and stiff.
....
Was I experiencing an out of body experience?
Did I leave my body because I was so afraid of processing my fear of spirits?
....
I tried to return to the fear but I couldn't get back into it. And ever since then I've tried and have just not been successful. I feel that I've just scratched the surface with this fear of spirits. I have a desire to communicate with them but can't get past this fear of them. I feel as though my late grandmother (my mothers mum) can help me with the process but can't determine if what I'm feeling is right as I am such a newie in mediumship.
That experience set other experiences over a period of about a month or so.
Another experience...
The next day I woke up with a ball of blood in my right ear that seemed like someone had placed it in my ear and it rolled out when I moved. I had never experienced something like that before. My mother is partially deaf in both ears and wears a hearing aid in her right ear but the day before she told me that she decided to see if she could hear without her hearing aid and to her surprise she could hear clearly (actually even better) than she did with a hearing aid! What's up with that one!?
My conclusion to these experiences is that Im in the process (well, WAS in the process - I've since shut down any fears as I'm too afraid to revisit them) of being spiritually awakened.
What do you think?
About 15 months ago I decided to experiment with Divine Love teachings for the first time. In particular I wanted to know if Spirits existed.
So one day I decided to sit in a room (where my daughter was having a day nap at the time) and just sit there to see what happens. Mind you I felt terrified and scared of potentially seeing a ghost etc. So I started of praying to God to help me believe that they exist and to be brave to experience my fear.
The curtains in the room were drawn shut and the window was closed. There was no fan or air con on in the room at the time. Suddenly the curtains lifted up like someone had pulled them forward and dropped them. I was absolutely terrified at this point, and pushed on. I started to feel a wave of heat beginning from my feet crawling up along my legs, up to my chest and down through to my hands. I started crying intensely like a child and trying to breath deeply diaphamatically so that I remained in my body. I covered my face with my hands while praying out aloud to help me through my fear. I felt like there was someone (possibly my late grandmother) sitting in front of me trying to help me get through it and to not be afraid and felt like if I had opened my eyes I would see someone. Then suddenly I got interrupted by my oldest child walking through the door asking to fix something. At that time I went to pickup the item my child was giving to me and I couldn't feel my fingers. I was aware that I couldn't control my own hand and fingers to grip the object. It felt rigid and stiff.
....
Was I experiencing an out of body experience?
Did I leave my body because I was so afraid of processing my fear of spirits?
....
I tried to return to the fear but I couldn't get back into it. And ever since then I've tried and have just not been successful. I feel that I've just scratched the surface with this fear of spirits. I have a desire to communicate with them but can't get past this fear of them. I feel as though my late grandmother (my mothers mum) can help me with the process but can't determine if what I'm feeling is right as I am such a newie in mediumship.
That experience set other experiences over a period of about a month or so.
Another experience...
The next day I woke up with a ball of blood in my right ear that seemed like someone had placed it in my ear and it rolled out when I moved. I had never experienced something like that before. My mother is partially deaf in both ears and wears a hearing aid in her right ear but the day before she told me that she decided to see if she could hear without her hearing aid and to her surprise she could hear clearly (actually even better) than she did with a hearing aid! What's up with that one!?
My conclusion to these experiences is that Im in the process (well, WAS in the process - I've since shut down any fears as I'm too afraid to revisit them) of being spiritually awakened.
What do you think?