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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:38 pm
I used to be very much a will power girl, and it helped me to achieve the things I wanted(or the hurt self wanted)
Now I realize that it was all to keep the Fasad on. More emotions I let in, less I be able to use the will power(which I think is good) However I feel like more addictions coming up and now it feels I'm weak not to go for them.
Does someone have a trick how not to follow the addictions without a will power?
Or is that the emotion comes after I've done the addiction which I need to go trough? For ex, after I smoke too much or eat too much, I feel worthless, low and unloved..
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:16 pm
Have you watched the Assistance Group videos?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCjmu-3 ... e=youtu.be
In this one Mary presents practical information about how to challenge addictions.
To feel worthless and low, seems like you are selfpunishing and that can be an addiction too. Then spirits can easily influence and make it a lot harder on you. Maybe you can just feel how bad it feels in your body, from eating too much, and smoking. Feel that your body has a hard time coping with too much food etc, without getting into the negative emotions about yourself because you just gave in to your addiction.
Also try to sit with the compulsion, before getting into the addiction and feel what comes up is good, which I myself have a hard time doing
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 8:28 pm
I've been practicing this recently and here is what I'm discovering. First you got to realize what the addiction is and then be aware of when you want to resort to it. In that moment you realize you want it (food, drugs, etc.) feel how much you want it, what fear you have if not going to it, the anger/rebellion of considering not going to it, and if you keep being humble to what emotion arises you will get to causal emotions that fuel the addiction. It seems to be more important to focus on what your feeling before the addiction as this is what your trying to avoid by the addiction.
Here is a much more thorough explanation and exercise you can use:
Practically Challenging an Addiction
Addictions are any thoughts, emotions, or behaviors to avoid an emotion we don’t want to feel. What are some of your addictions?
1. Notice the addictive event or interaction & acknowledge that it is unhealthy because it keeps me giving power to the underlined emotions I’m constantly running from.
• Do I really feel that the addiction is unhealthy?
• Do I really feel it is important to not engage in this addiction?
2. Feel the addictive emotional responses
• Feel the addictive emotional response before you do anything
• Feel the addictive emotional response when the addiction is met
• Feel the addictive emotional response when the addiction is denied or not met
• Don’t judge the addiction
• Don’t get caught up in shame or ‘I can’t believe I’m like this’
• Self-punishment is just another addiction to avoid real feelings
• Judging the addiction causes us to ignore the addiction
3. Don’t feed the addiction instead stop satisfying the addiction; this will EXPOSE the emotion driving it
• This is not an act of ‘will power’; it will need to be a pure will based desire
• When we are sincere (I can see how unhealthy this addiction is for me and how it perpetuates problems in my life because it prevents me from releasing the underlined negative emotions) our motivation to stop satisfying the addiction becomes more pure
• We stop feeding the addiction so we can find and feel the emotion the addiction covers
4. You may choose to confront the addiction in many ways
• You may even SEEK OUT confrontation of addiction to discover more about your emotions
• Feel the addiction itself
• (Addiction Diagram-see above)
• Allow the emotions of wanting the addiction (painful, desperate)
• Allow the façade’s justifications (this isn’t unhealthy, I deserve it, I don’t want to feel all that pain) for the addiction to be exposed and felt
• Allow the emotions of resistance to feeling hurt and afraid
• Experience your false beliefs as emotions (e.g. It’s not possible to feel this, I can’t be free of this addiction, my partner is hurting me by not loving me as I want, everyone is rejecting me by not meeting my addictions)
5. Allow your hurt self’s feelings whatever they are
• Experience the hurt emotions that are now exposed
• Some of these may have been suppressed in your childhood
• Some of these you may have suppressed throughout your life into adulthood
• Until we are willing to experience the hurt emotions that the addiction covers we will not release the addiction
6. Honor the increased awareness
• As we engage this process sincerely we naturally become more sensitive to the price of addiction (you may think you are now but it is only a tiny awareness of how damaging and pervasive the addiction is)
• We recognize: How pervasive the addiction is; What other elements there are to the addiction; The effects of the addiction in our life and the lives of others; Actions that we previously viewed as harmless or loving but which we now see are sin; More linked addictive behavior in our life of which we were previously unconscious; Further possible emotional causes for our addictive behavior
• We experience: Increased sensitivity to our addictions; Increased sensitivity to the harm we have caused ourselves and others through addiction; Increased sensitivity to fear & grief, and our hurt self
7. Revisit until it’s done
• In order to be free of addictions we will need to:
• Repeat the process of challenging the addiction multiple times
• Uncover more emotions that have been driving the addiction
• Becoming more sensitive to the cost of our addictions makes us: More likely to repeat the process of challenging the addiction; More likely to stop feeding the addiction
• Addictions Will Not Leave Us Unless We Challenge Them Emotionally
• Many people have been attempting to deal with their addictions through the use of will power
• Will-power will never be effective, because the addiction comes from emotions/beliefs in the soul (subconscious mind)
• To truly release addictions we must engage an emotional process:
• We must connect to the feeling that each addiction is a unhealthy
• We must connect to the feeling that each addiction has harmful effects to ourselves and others
• We must develop a sincere desire to expose and feel the emotions driving our addictions
• Once emotions are felt, then the addictions will naturally leave us
1. Journal exercise
Challenging your addictions is necessary for each of you to engage if you are to progress.
What are the reasons why you aren’t engaging the challenge of your addictions every day in multiple areas of your life right now?
What are the emotional reasons why you are justifying not engaging the emotional challenge of your addictions right now?
2. Challenge at least one addiction using the described techniques above
Write about what you discovered in your journal
Common Areas We Live in Addiction That May Be Challenged
Interpersonal relationships: Change the way you communicate & relate to others; If addicted to Avoidance and façade this means that you will need to have more contact with others and commit to being honest and open; If addicted to Control and domination this means that you will be quieter, listen more and focus on ethical exchanges
Eating & drinking habits & personal comforts: (Change your eating habits, most of us eat for comfort, others of us strictly control and monitor what we eat); (Technology: Reduce your use of technology, technology is a way that many people meet addictions and distract themselves from what they feel, you could commit to turning off your phone, your internet, TV and computer for 23 hours a day, or even days at a time).
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 6:17 am
Thank you very much!! I feel that's gonna help a lot:)
Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:09 am
Hi there Alice
It is really about developing our will to challenge our addictions by seeing the SIN involved on our part in the unloving behaviour.
I feel as though you have been re-directed well by these guys - the assistance group material is awesome for this stuff.
As a note, I've moved your thread to the "Addictions" forum category.
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:28 pm
I am touched by your honesty and clarity on this topic. I have been struggling with my addictions for a long while and feeling caught in a cycle of Will power, resistance, denial and avoidance. I keep coming back to the fact that I want
to want to release my addictions and feel the emotions that they are suppressing, but it is not yet at a soul level. I have listened to Mary's talk on addictions in both assistance groups several times and am gaining more and more clarity, but still I am struggling. Reading the replies to this have touched me and opened me up to more understanding. It seems to me that I first need to address my addiction to self punishment and my faulty beliefs about my self worth (which are likely core issues that influence many of the addictions I play out in my life) before I notice a soul based change in seeing the SIN, and then being able to feel it.
I feel (not sure whether erroneously or not), that I need to focus on working through my addictions before I can truly have a relationship with God. Up to this point I feel that there has just not been enough room within my soul to accept God's love more than a drop or two. It is my hope that as I find and feel the emotions that I've suppressed (and continue to suppress) with my addictions I will be more able to be open to a relationship with God.
So again, my thanks for your sharing.
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:47 pm
I also found this talk particularly helpful from the "Texas" Assistance Group in understanding the role of addictions - what they do for us or what we believe they are doing for us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDeRs2W ... YS41gY3CqG
When I listen to it, it helps me have some compassion for myself for having the addictions in the first place as it's a great explanation of why we have created them as I've found that I've condemned myself a lot for having addictions which helps me not want to deal with them. It's also taken me a long time to realise that the addictions are not automatic but a choice. When I've thought about my anger and frustration at people and situations - the anger has felt very automatic and not under my control (eek!) - it's been helping me to realise that I have choices and it's not always going to be automatic if I look at the reasons why I want to be angry and why i don't like feeling fear.
I hope I'm remembering Mary correctly but I think in that talk above and I'm sure in the assistance groups she has said we have to get real about how much we want the addiction, what we feel it's doing for us, how we believe it is making us happy and bringing us joy when really it is very damaging as we take from or damage others and never get to release our pains and keep reinforcing that feeling that it's too big/difficult/hopeless. I think that point is very powerfully made in the feedback given to Marina recently if you've listened to that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxLYLV7 ... 9tbd-OD7xk
Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:53 am
I also think the recent Padgett Message discussion on the Divine Truth Website as an audio called Sin Redemption and Receiving Gods Love is a very direct powerful talk about sin and our soul condition and ability to receive Gods Love. There is a great image of a dried out hard sponge to get to grips with! The talk is under downloads.