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Re: approval addiction

Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2015 2:22 pm
by Laura Berry
Dear, Mia, Monique and all the other ladies and others reading this thread.

What has struck me the most about this is seeing how blind I am and how not seeing the correct sin is so damaging to our progress, I found this discussion from Jesus and Mary really fitting to this situation that happened here and felt this was a good place and time to share it with others like myself who still are not looking at ourselves accurately. The discussion is called 'Sin and Redemption'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkRTB60wSKk

Dear Kathy, thank you for your words have found them very helpful with admitting and accepting the truth about myself about this issue. With regards to superiority and inferiority I just wanted to add what I have found the last few days. A lot of the events I have attracted are what I have been 'wrongly' angry with God about which was like feeling 'inferior' like god wanted to bend me to my knees and for me to feel nothing and inferior to everyone and that's how I had interpreted it. I had felt this as punishment up until I am now realising God isn't wanting me to feel inferior but rather to help me see I am equal to others and this addiction to feeling entitled and superior isn't loving and that 'bringing me down' to an equal place with my brothers and sisters is loving. So I don't feel I have inferior emotions anymore with regards to entitlement but more like emotions about feeling just the same as everyone else and equal, which is loving from Gods perspective to be treated equally but when we are used to feeling like we get more than that it feels unloving to be stripped of the extra things we feel we deserve or are owed. So my 'sadness' is about being equal rather than less than. Which feels horrible to admit. I don't know if this is the same for everyone with entitlement injuries but have found that for myself I don't have feelings of inferiority but rather feelings of feeling just equal and have been seeing that as a bad thing rather than a beautiful thing. Not sure if that helps but just felt to add it.

Dear Mary, I just wanted to say thank you again for your words, I actually feel I can make steps to change now and accept the real sin. It is feels like a relief in some ways even though it has opened the wounds and I wish you and Jesus the best and thank you again for everything you do.

Laura x

Re: approval addiction

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:47 pm
by Mianoel
Hello again,

On the second, post I wrote a few questions, but now one thing is clear:

I have preferred believing my addictions were about expectation or desire for superiority, because I would prefer anything else than having to face my terror (the real cause of my approval addiction).

Re: approval addiction

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 10:40 pm
by Mianoel
Thank you Laura for recommending the "Recovery of your inner Child" book, and thank you Mary for feedback, and Mary and AJ for written and video feedback on subject of Monique's post.

Re: approval addiction

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:13 pm
by julie_bennion
Hello Mia & Everyone who has contributed to the discussion here,
Just yesterday I read through this thread, so I'm a bit late in feeling about where I sit, in relation to the question that has come up ~ am I generally seeking approval?, expecting others to approve of me?, Always giving approval?, or feeling expected to give approval ??? I have to say, I feel I have sat in each of these damaged seats ;), depending on numerous factors.
In my childhood, I can see how I felt both ~ unloved/unloveable, and opposite to this, overly special. I felt unloved at home, but then was told, continuously, by mormon church leaders that I was very special, part of "the chosen generation", chosen because I was one of the few in God's One & Only True Church... (which now I feel yuck, and so on, yuck about all the massive lies). So on the one hand, I felt intsy, weentsy, while on the other I felt way better, saved, chosen, rich... once I got to heaven, supremely rich. In my feelings of inferiority, which came first, I then used the church's "you are superior" to compensate, and to hide from how lowdown I felt.

This morning, listening to Mary's discussion of The Hurt Self (part of the second 2014 Assistance Group) helped me feel some emotion about how hard I learned to be, and how I still am... hard on myself where, shoot, there's hurt to be felt!, and it's really, actually Not cool to be harsh. Softening is the only way to offer healing ~ I Do believe this, since I have felt how true it is, and I Do have trust that this is how God feels. This is what God wants us to feel, and this is the healing God's Love offers.

Towards the end of this session with Mary, Sandra asks the question ~ Is it possible to have developed around both injuries ~ the feeling of inferiority And the feeling of superiority, in different parts of ourselves? ~ https://youtu.be/LkU6qSZT_R8 (you'll find this @ 1:06:30)

I hope this is helpful for others here!

With love,