Blaming the Environment?

[Marcel]

Wow, I could have a field day in this section catered just for me maybe?

I currently have an issue where I am in the game of blame and the reason is this.. I have not had an easy life to say the least, my story is long and complexed and the reason I mention this is because I am in a situation that I would like to share here.
I desperately want to leave my current environment and move elsewhere for a while. I have, through spirit and physical communication been labelled as an escapee who just wants to run from the world to invest my interests elsewhere and not take responsibility for my life where it is by always hoping to move to another country. Now this is my issue in regards to this. I do not know how the spirit world works entirely at all but to my understanding and speaking from experience I do know that the darker the state a person is in the less energy they seem to have to be able to travel far. Now the area I stay in, when I first moved here it was a hell hole, excuse the expression but that is the reality of it from my sense. I have been here over 10 years and it has been spirit attack since day 1. It has been a hard road. Now granted the place is not as dark as it was but due to having such a hard battle here for so long and for wanting just for my own sake to travel to another country, for my hobbies IE photography and also as I do know from being able to go overseas before that some locations just are less dense in shadow and suffering than others.. So yes maybe I do want to escape but I honestly am tired of taking responsibility for the constant attack directed at me in my immediate environment. I have lived elsewhere briefly and I do know the spiritual condition of certain areas just is better. I am highly sensitive and exposed to attack constantly here and I also get brought down a lot and end up in a dark state myself due to my own personal issues in addictions and of course resorting to darker emotions such as blame, resentment etc.. I just wonder what to do? Should I stay here forever and fight the good fight for the rest of my days and always have hard memories associated with this place to have to work through or start over elsewhere? I know the grass is greener where you water it but, good grass does not grow in poisoned soil and I am afraid I have run out entirely of good water to pour on it, to keep trying to purify it and in turn am just toxic now myself. Would it not be wise to stay in a new environment that would be more condusive to my recovery and healing from my barrage of personal issues and soul damage?
Another question I have if anyone reading this may know, has anyone seen a video where AJ and Mary speak to a suicide victim or discuss suicide and soul state of a suicidee and if they manage to progress from their location to a place of love?

[Lena]

Hi Marcel,

You have described very little about where you are and what emotional issues you are facing.

I understand that you are in turmoil and very angry about it, I am not sure if you have been sincerely connecting to it yet?

If you would like to recieve whatever help is available on this forum, I would suggest that you list down exactly what your issues are and why, examples and what feelings or parts of your situation you are most having difficulty with. So for example why you are living in the current location, why not in another location?

I understand that you are feeling very emotional about the issue of your location, but as god's laws operate perfectly, it would be good to know how and why you have ended up in your location and what that location is about, basically what is wrong with it.

As you question about suicide, I didnt understand is it for the spirits who surround you, or are you having thoughts about suicide?

Here is a video about suicide:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=W4-kTTp7-k0

Also you can read about it with a recommended video, page 2.
https://www.divinetruth.com/www/en/pdf/ ... ention.pdf

[Marcel]

Hi Lena,
Thank you for replying, okay I will do my best to try and give an overall explanation of my situation and keep it on point as much as possible with some background as to why I am where I am from what I can see. I was going to reply a little later giving myself time to prepare but then realised I seem to be under some kind of attack in that I actually feel there are spirits who do not want me replying and explaining it, I can feel it now so I am going to do it now and will do my best to work through it as I type this out.
I was living in Johannesburg up until my early 20's and then due to falling into a drug addiction and self destructing rapidly I ended up with an opportunity to leave my home and move away to the coast to clean up and start a new life. I left around 16 years ago and moved to Jeffrey's Bay and stayed there for about three years before moving to St Francis bay where I have been ever since. I did manage to get off of hard drugs and clean up my life for the most part, I even gave up smoking tobacco for two and a half years but then started again just over a year ago after a doctor told me it might help bring my ulcerative colitis into remission, which it did not do. Through adjusting my diet and prayer and I think through the healing of the emotional issue that manifested that illness, I am now free of it but now am struggling to come off of nicotine addiction again.

St Francis Bay visually is an idyllic town catering to the wealthy holiday makers. It is natural and pretty but coming from a post apartheid era it is still divided, the wealthy white people live in their luxurious homes and the poor black people live in their little run down shanty township. This immediately has all kinds of consequential knock on effects as anyone with a bit of clear insight could imagine. It is so prevalent that when I go into the township I actually almost feel a bit safer or 'natural' there or more accepted even? Though I would only go for short amounts of time the atmosphere feels less fake and feels more natural whereas on the side of the white people where it is all picture perfect, I feel threatened and it is all about money and image and all kinds of strange judgemental condescending manipulative emotions and twisted or darker emotions. Not that I am truly physically safer in the township, I know I am not as they have their own issues too(no wonder).

The people who do stay in this town permanently (not the holiday makers) They are a mixed bunch of people and the way the town is set up is in that. There is a lot of alcoholism and in the township there is now tik(meth) which is a very destructive drug and for the white people there is cocaine, of course also highly damaging. I do not drink or do drugs anymore and have not for a long time have never quite liked alcohol. I did have a time in my recovery where I worked with plant medicines such as ayahuasca and magic mushrooms which could be categorized as drugs as well but I don't really want to use that term with them nor do I want to condemn or praise them here but I am now at a place where I just want to place my full faith in God without having to use material catalysts for attempts at spiritual healing.

The issue is that, there is not much of a sense of true spirituality or the belief in God in my current location(although a rather sweet looking little church has opened up but I wont go there but it does not feel condemning or anything or atleast from what I sense from it is rather peaceful which I am happy about), the people here tend to get bored I guess and have swinger parties and also the mindset is highly based on capitalism(materialism), everything is associated with money and success or the lack of. Also I am and have heard and witnessed to an extent that there used to be a lot of satanism in this area going back decades ago and that has it's own reactive effect due to the darker emotions associated with that type of practice. I used to think maybe if not the satanism then it was a geographic issue and this place could be on some type of energetic power point or laying on a negative fault line but I don't think that anymore, this is just based on the soul condition of the people in the area and the type of spirit's this invites to my mind.

The reason I have not changed location is because I am an only child and only ever had my mum and she moved down here also to get away from Johannesburg after a violent car hijacking and not being able to find work a it was a new car and insurance was not clear and so they would not give her a new car and with a knock on effect of difficult circumstances she decided to come to me and stay in St Francis Bay where she started a newspaper business of her own which she now still runs to this day. I worry about my mum in this area being alone and also I do not have money currently to move away. I am not wealthy (and have had issues surrounding money and capitalism) and every time I have tried to make arrangements to get the money together to go, if not permanently at least an extended visit to another country and then to potentially come back to SA my efforts have been thwarted. I actually had to return from overseas due to my ulcerative colitis illness being too severe (which I developed upon my excursion overseas) and so I spent the last three years getting better and also it took a great amount of effort to get the money together for me to go last time and my mother and I still have debt because of it. So it is not easy for me to just up and leave and I do not want to leave my mother in debt and having to work hard at her age. It would be best for me to save the money myself and then to go now that my health is getting better I can but I will still worry about her being alone here and also it could take quite some time and I just feel so many forces working against me in life that, it is difficult here and my hopes of travel become conflicted with negativity or desperation.

I do not get much rest spiritually at all in this location, there are even some places here I would not walk alone, like on this one beach, the feeling of the area is so haunted that it is unbelievable how dark it actually feels.. Also I may have annoyed a lot of spirits in the area as coming from a bit of a new age movement and also having worked with plant medicines in my recovery I had it in my mind I was going to clear this place and bring in a whole lot of love and light and banish the dark from the area and banishing is not exactly loving, I was naive in my ways and I guess in the spirit world I ended up with a lot of enemies. I will attest that this area is not as harsh as it was but it still surprises me how bad it still can be at times and I am always feeling like I have spirits trying to control me and instigate fear into me and get me to do things that I know I should not. IE using my own sexuality as an escape or smoking tobacco to try numb out my painful emotions and on that spiral goes..

I also have a lot of pain in relation to soulmate issues and have been under pain about it for the last year and a half as I feel I may possibly know who my soulmate is but I am not certain and I have my own emotional damages in regards to relationships and the opposite sex and I am a sensitive person and there are a lot of spirits here who seem to feed off of my emotional pain or enjoy it for want of a better term. So they would actively try and get me to a point of feeling emotionally pained such as me processing feelings of my potential soulmate not wanting me in her life due to my soul condition not being conducive to her well being, (which I feel is true unfortunately as it stands currently) and me feeling the pain of it(rejection feelings and trying to come to peace with it) also she feels I am not her soulmate and I cant really blame her especially while I am addicted to nicotine and not in a good state myself (also being uncertain of it myself) but these emotions seem to open channels for spirits who love to see me in pain to come and try and instigate further pain by either telling me untruth's or showing me potential truths in regards to the situation but then extorting or coercing it in a way that suites their agenda to make me feel more pain and to blow things out of proportion to a point that I break down and then feel my own dark emotions and start blaming and feeling anger and in turn start darkening my own condition further.

I was having thoughts on suicide yesterday as I have wondered if maybe I managed to get just away from this area and then to end my life in an area where there are not too many spirits with malevolent intent, I could maybe find a way to a place of somewhat peace and recovery in the spirit world and develop my relationship with God from there but my mother would be absolutely devastated and I couldn't do that to her it would bring a lot of pain and even more to work through and I worry about her condition as it is, she has not had an easy time of it either but she does pray to God and she works on her faith a lot and she overcame alcohol and tobacco so I am very proud about that. It is a passing emotion, I don't often think of suicide but I did yesterday and once or twice last year. I wont do it, it's just sometimes the pain just feels too much to bear so I guess, that is a way of wanting to escape from it. Also I want to work on self love and I don't think suicide is quite the way to go about that

Thank you for taking the time in reading this, I hope I didnt go off track or explain some things unnecessarily

[Lena]

Hi Marcel,

I feel the issue you are facing is a spirit influence and manipulation and at times spirit attack, along with your own emotions being triggered which you are not humble to feel.

Using drugs opens people to have even more control by spirits over their lives and their bodies.

So even your suicide thoughts are more about you wanting to escape your own feelings that are triggered by your surrounding that you are not humble to feeling, and spirits use this to suggest to you that suicide would get you out of your feelings. Which is not true.
If you pass you will either engage people on earth by overcloaking them and getting them to use drugs, to keep running away from your emotions, or you will pass into the spirit world where you will find that these emotions will still overwhelm you to the same degree.

So the answer is to indenting them and to feel them.

There are many seminars which you can watch and reflect about your life and the spirit influence you attract
FAQ:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE-R ... 14uK6u8q4Q

Seminars:
https://youtube.com/user/WizardShak/sea ... 0influence

I will leave this for now for you to investigate.
And maybe myself or somebody else may come back to this thread later.

P.s I feel Marcel, you are not taking much responsibility for your feelings, and therefor blame your environment for most troubles in your life. I just wanted to remind you that majority of people on the planet live in very difficult enviroments, however not all of them blame their environment for their bad life.

This clip was recommended on this thread, which I would also recommend for you to watch:
viewtopic.php?p=3033#p3033

[Marcel]

Thank you Lena and for the links
I will work on humbling myself to feeling my true emotions and work on not blaming my location for the circumstance's I find myself in. I am aware that many people are born into harder environments in this world than myself and do not blame their location and so it is something I will try to work on.
I do know that I carry a lot of shame and guilt around being a nicotine addict again and that I agree with you in that if I pass over now without overcoming this addiction, my soul would likely overcloak people on earth to try get them to smoke to try satisfy my addiction and the thought of me doing that terrifies me, that is why I really wish to be free of this addiction before I pass. I am aware that nicotine itself definitely opens me up to negative spirit influence and is further reason why I wish to be free of it asap. As far as other drugs go, I really do not feel I would overcloak people to do them as I have spent a lot of my waking life trying to get friends and family off of drugs and have done so successfully to some extent and I hope I am not wrong in my view of this?

I will work on getting to my core feelings, thanks follow up on the seminars involving spirit influence.
Thank you