Fear of women's anger

[Eva]

Thank you for discussing the receiving end of a woman's anger.

Myself I am the angry woman. Last week I got some wonderful feedback in a mail from Jesus and Mary. This feedback inspired me to contact a therapist and yesterday in a conversation with the therapist (who is a man) I began to sort out what creates some of my anger (so far on an intellectual level). I want to find and feel the sin in my own needy addictions, and I am grateful that you David wrote down all your points about the sin and I will use it and complete it from my standpoint.

My anger is about an addiction not being met. The addiction is that I want to be seen and taken care of. When this doesn't happen I get angry and feel exploited and betrayed. When I realize that I am being angry and that I am hurting the other, I feel guilt. The guilt is selfish and based in a fear of being punished because I am the one to blame. The next thing I do is to try and make everything right and make the other person feel better and comfort and please them, which is manipulative and controlling.
This is a vicious circle which has been running my whole life. My intention is to get to the roots of it before end of this year (or sooner).

My dad was very violent during my childhood. When he had beaten us kids, he used to feel guilt and told us that it was our fault who made him do this. We then felt that it was actually our fault, and now we had made him sad so we then helped him feel better about the situation by smiling and saying that everything was ok.
There is so much more for me to feel about this, and I am writing about it in this forum to get some clarity for myself and to sort things out.
Eva

[Alkhemst]

I've seen quite simply that my addictions become obvious when I'm compelled to change others, situations or things. It's empowering to come to terms with the fact I can't change anything other than me, and that's actually my core responsibility - to become more loving. Don't know if you've heard of the serenity prayer, but it really makes sense when I sit with it. If I replace the word serenity with humblenss, its even further pertinent to me:

God grant me the humility to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

[LauraR]

I am a 57 year old woman and I too have fear of a womens anger. The first being my mother. I allowed her to manipulate and control me for a very long time. And for many years I was being arrogant - or in addiction - believing that because I knew what she was doing I was above her - better than her. Somehow I felt giving her what she wanted if I knew what I was doing was better than being unaware of the manipulation (I hope that made sense). However, I began to understand what I was doing was far more harmful to myself and also to my mother. She would never have the opportunity to reflect upon her behavior and possibly learn and grow from it. I understood I was being unloving to her as well.
Anyway, probably 5 years ago now (previous to learning the Divine Truth) I stood up to her anger and manipulations. And then very swiftly the rest of my family began their manipulations towards me and my daughter. I have not seen my family since then and have had very little contact. It has been frightening (being on my own). I have regret that I did not present my position to her or my family in a more loving way - but for me at the time it was about survival.
After listening to Divine Truth and observing my feelings - I understand that although my family is no longer in my life - most notibly my mother - I feel manipulated by other women's anger so it is an area I am focusing on.
I also have guilt - so I am doing my best to understand forgiveness. I also know I learned to control, manipulate and expect things from others so I am learning about repentance.
What I feel is one of my largest injuries now is not being able to think of God in the female. When I hear God referred to as her or she - wow - I have very angry emotions. I first noticed this during AJ's classes. But I feel very fortunate that I am starting to connect to Mary and seeing a female that truly demonstrates love is helping. I am praying to God and speaking my emotions to "him" - it appears I have some work to do.
Love to all - Laura

[rizasukman]

Hi David,

I couldn't find the thread where you talk about Money to Anneli, so I'll just drop the question here. Can you point me in a direction towards learning more about money (books, articles, theories, Divine Truth talks, etc) and also some philosophical background about the benefits of donation based financial activity. My brain is not functioning very well at the moment to understand things of a highly intellectual nature but I am curious to understand more about the connections between money and love, so if i have some resources at hand I can pick at it slowly. I feel you have some interesting stuff to say about that, if you will!

As for this Thread about Fear of Women's Anger. It sounds very interesting and pertinent and I'll look into it.

Thanks,
Riza