punish a pillow instead of a person

[Pam]

I used to struggle with angry a lot to the point of throwing things. It would take me awhile before I would get angry but when I did look out. The kids would rebel against me to the point where I would get mad and throw things (not at them) and this actually scared them into listening to me.


One time I was wishing dishes and my daughter Telissa kept bugging me to get something for her to eat out of the refrigerator. I got so mad at her that I grabbed a salad bottle and slammed it down so hard as I could and the bottle cracked into pieces and cut my thumb. I was bleeding and sick to my stomach and my oldest daughter called my mother in law to take me to the Er. It was so embarrassing. They asked me all kinds of questions and even asked my religion and i didn't even want to tell them that I am a Christian. The doctor thought it was funny. He asked me what happen and I told him I put a salad bottle down pretty hard and it broke and cut me. He asked me "Were you mad when you did this?" I said yes and he begin to laugh and said ,"Its ok I did dumb things like this before when I was mad and ended up in the Er." I got about 12 stitches in my thumb and had a bandage up hand. It slowed my typing speed down in computer class. The stupid thing is there was a plastic salad bottle of ranch dressing in the refrigerator but I reached for the glass bottle of Italian dressing because ranch is my favorite salad dressing. lol A person just doesn't think right when they are mad.

After this I beg God to delivered me from this angry. I was afraid I would really end up hurting someone and I didn't want it to be my kids. My angry just never came back after that. I haven't thrown anything since then or slammed anything down since then but I know that it doesn't come easy like this must of the time. I am glad God had mercy for me and delivered me from this angry because I really cried out to him to sit me free of this. I was actually scaring myself with this angry.

[Pam]

I forgot to mentioned the pillow. I always give advice to my daughter to beat a pillow instead of a person.