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The seed that grows

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:49 am
by Max
I have recently had some understanding about what faith is through a recent experience that I'd like to share with you. Up until that point I didn't really understand faith or value it. I saw it as a type of inspired belief and I've never found belief to be a reliable source to base reality on. I went to catholic and other christian based schools and was taught by priests and brothers. They often spoke of the importance in having faith in their teachings before death to ensure the salvation of our soul from everlasting torment in hell. They often taught faith as a type of uncritical belief, a blind faith that God demanded of us and that Jesus demonstrated. Their belief that Jesus needed to be sacrificed in order to redeem humanity in Gods eyes felt repulsive to me. Especially when in the next breath they talked about this being a sign of how much God loves us, that He would sacrifice his only son for us. It seemed grotesque that a loving God would need this to happen. When I felt in my heart about many of the beliefs they taught me, I knew that they could not be true. So I started to understand that feeling what I experienced in my heart was more reliable in determining truth then blind faith and intellectual belief. Later in life I understood that true faith was not blind but I still associated it with belief and so, didn't totally trust it. I wanted my relationship with God to be real, so I based it on what I most trusted to be real, the feeling and experience from my heart.

A few months back I was addressing some repentance issues that had come up as a road block for me. I experienced some of the fears associated with the possible consequences of admitting what I had done, then acted on it and commenced the process. A few days in, things were pretty horrible but I tried to stay humble and sincere. On one of those days I was listening to a recording of Jesus and Mary's discussion of Through The Mists when something they said triggered more fears in me so i tried to stay humble and just feel what was coming up. At one point during this process, time seemed to slow down. The recording was still playing in the background and what was being said was directly relevant to me. It was like Jesus and Mary were directly addressing what I was going through and confirming what I had done. It felt hyper real, like Gods messenger of truth directly affirming that I had done the right thing and was on the right track but coming through the television. As long as I stayed humble to the emotions it brought up I was able to maintain my connection to the experience. It was like being plugged into a ultra high definition experience of my LOA. When it was over I felt that God had confirmed to me that the choices I had previously made were on the right track regardless of the possible consequences but there was also a part of me that doubted what happened could be possible. This was the sort of thing that people in psychiatric wards talk about. "I get direct messages from God though the television from Jesus and Mary." :o :) Was this real, I really wanted to know the truth?

A few minutes after I had this doubt about my experience my mobile phone rang. It was Ben the computer guy I had been trying to organise to fix my pc. He was able to come by now, I needed it repaired so agreed. I was feeling pretty raw but just stayed connected with a heavy feeling of grief emanating from my chest. He was at my front door within a minute. My pc had to finish downloading something before he could start so we had some time to kill. We started talking and before long he was asking me about repentance. We had met only once before, I knew the real reason he was here had nothing to do with my computer. I discovered that he was a Christian and we had a very long conversation about God, sin, repentance, the after life and spirit influence. As he was leaving my front door he asked me again. "So you really think there's nothing God won't forgive us for?" I had that feeling again of being plugged into and being part of everything, it was hyper real. I repeated as clearly and accurately as I could my understanding of Gods law of repentance and how if someone was truly sincere and prepared to feel the pain they had caused to others and themselves and prepared to make amends no matter what that entailed, they could free themselves of the burden of that sin from their soul no matter what it was and no matter when it was in this life or the next. His face changed and he was silent for a while, then he turned to me and said "I'm going to tell you something Max and then I'm going to leave you with it. Now you need to really listen... alright,.... because it's very important,... OK... you ready?" Time slowed down and the super high definition turned up.

"There is an experiment that you can do to test if what you think is Gods way is real or false. When you're faced with a decision and you're not sure which way is the way that will bring you closer to God, act on the choice that you think is true, then test it by looking at the fruit it bears. If it bears good fruit then you know you're on the right track and if it doesn't then you learn from it. That way you can know for sure if you have chosen the right path, if you discover that you have not, then you make an adjustment. When you choose the right way and you see the fruit it bears, that grows your faith in knowing which choices will lead to God. At first your faith is small like a mustard seed, then each time you make decisions that bear good fruit your faith grows until it become big enough to move mountains. But it all starts with the experiment and the mustard seed."

He then left and I felt Gods presence all around me, like I was hard wired into a living breathing universe that is saturated with meaning. Where truth can come from the most unlikely places or people. I could feel how much God cares for us in such exquisite detail within this living creation that she has designed for our personal development to know ourselves and to know Her.

It confirmed and named this process that had started to develop in me called faith. It's a seed we plant within ourselves and water it through the actions we choose to take towards God. Experiencing the results of those actions leads to its growth because we experience the reality of Gods love for us and how immediate and reliable it is. How God uses his messenger of truth to instruct and reinforce our actions when they are in the right direction to encourage us to grow our faith in Him.


Re: The seed that grows

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 6:44 pm
by Kathy Sitz
Hi Max,

I like the way you've pointed out that belief and faith are words that are not interchangeable. Its been said that way often, but as you've pointed out, faith is demonstrated in action.

I also like the way you've discussed faith that grows (the mustard seed) in conjunction with the LOA and bearing fruit. Very beautiful and I'd never thought about all of those concepts together quite like that before so your post said something to me.

Thanks for sharing brother.

Re: The seed that grows

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:45 pm
by Max
Hi Kathy

I'm glad you found it useful. I'll pass on your appreciation to Ben.


Re: The seed that grows

Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 6:33 pm
by lindabest
Hi Max, I just read your post. The mustard seed and the way to test to see if it is growing, has become a powerful truth that God is telling me now through your post. I needed this gift you have given. Thank you. Linda