Hello,
It's been a while since my last post. I felt very confronted whenever Eloisa responded to my last post, mainly, because I knew she was correct in her interpretation of my condition and didn't know how to respond. Since then, I have drifted away from concentrating heavily on the path as the emotional impact had become to great for me to continue. I realize I wasn't ready to jump fully into this like I had I thought I was. I had finally released one major injury (addiction to alcohol) and I assumed things should come easy to me from that point on. Then I arrogantly started to believe that I was one of the 14 and I had everything figured out with my ex being my soulmate from a past life. This couldn't have been further from the truth. However, I knew something had shifted in me after being healed from the injury causing my alcohol addiction so I decided to take a break from trying so hard on releasing emotions all the time. I slipped back into many addictions such as eating chicken and smoking weed daily. Although I did let myself cry occasionally I knew I wasn't connecting to God on a substantial level.
Recently, I have consciously tried to act in a more humble way when interacting with my mom. If I feel my mother projecting unloving emotions towards me instead of having a verbal argument her with I stay silent and just feel the feeling that comes up. Usually after I feel and acknowledge my hurt self she comes back into her body realizes what she is doing on some level. We don't talk about the past that much or anything but I think our relationship has gotten a bit better over the past months as we both know each others boundaries and we respect them more.
With all that being said, I want to share that I think I may have found my other half. Not sure how. Not sure why. But she now works where I work and we sell mobile phones together. This has been a rather extraordinary experience for me because I have all of these emotions of happy AND sad coming up at the same time. Happy, because I acknowledge God's craftsmanship of someone who I believe to be the most beautiful person on Earth, physically and spiritually. Sad, because I can tell how bad her soul's condition is in and I feel I am not evolved enough to help her at this time. I have been somewhat persistant in trying to get to know her without making any strong sexual advancements towards her. I am also trying to be careful to not push her into something that she is not ready for although every ounce of my being wants to know her inside and out. The excitement of meeting her has reignited my desire to connect with God and to find out for sure if my feelings are valid. You could say Im back into processing full fledge these past few days. Her personality, the shape her body, the sound of her voice, her passions in life all seem to match my own soul's print to a "T". It's scary. It's exciting. I don't want to screw this up! She is heavily sedated at this point with Prozac and weed. I can tell there is a huge emotional void her father created in her by being distant physically and emotionally and she seeks to fill this hole by befriending as many males as she can and sharing her struggles with them on a daily basis. I try not to placate her when she gets into this mode, however, I catch myself doing it time and again without telling her the truth about her unloving behavior. I feel she will push me away if I do this but I know I need to say something in order help her. Today before work, I processed a lot and it shifted my law of attraction in a crazy direction. Upon my arrival to work, she demanded that I help a customer for her (angry male) before I was even settled in and ready to work. I also attracted multiple angry female customers throughout the course of the day. It was super weird! Clearly, I still have emotions towards women that I need to resolve and it's amazing how this girl is triggering so much in me that I need to address.
Another weird thing has happened. It seems that since meeting her I have began meeting couples who are clearly soulmates. Not sure if this is my guides and/or LOA trying to tell me something but I hope it is! Anyway, these coming weeks should be very interesting.
-Mike
Hello Again. Found my Soulmate?
Re: Hello Again. Found my Soulmate?
Hi Mike
There is a lot of facade and addiction driving your creation of this thread, so I am going to lock it.
I feel pretty much all of what Eloisa shared with you a number of months ago in the below thread still applies (anger/rage towards women, blame etc).
viewtopic.php?f=30&t=919
You withdrew from the forum and the "path" after the feedback was gifted due to your own desire to avoid the emotional issues that were exposed (rather then withdraw to work on the issues sincerely). This in itself is a passive aggressive angry response to the feedback. The attractions with angry women shows that this is still a big issue and due to your own unreleased rage/anger towards them, you cannot feel them accurately (when you believe that you can). This can lead to condescending and arrogant attitudes towards women.
If you choose to analyse your own thread, you are addictively sharing a story with the forum. Also, because you have not yet begun to address these issues, you have posted here in the same addictions that were previously highlighted. There is no real desire for engagement with others OR a desire to learn/ask questions about principles of Divine Truth to help with your own understanding of these issues. It is a self involved post covered with a facade of sincerity, particularly early on in the post. A 3rd amber strike and mute will be added to your forum account at this time due to a number of breaches of the terms of use document.
Cheers
Nicky
There is a lot of facade and addiction driving your creation of this thread, so I am going to lock it.
I feel pretty much all of what Eloisa shared with you a number of months ago in the below thread still applies (anger/rage towards women, blame etc).
viewtopic.php?f=30&t=919
You withdrew from the forum and the "path" after the feedback was gifted due to your own desire to avoid the emotional issues that were exposed (rather then withdraw to work on the issues sincerely). This in itself is a passive aggressive angry response to the feedback. The attractions with angry women shows that this is still a big issue and due to your own unreleased rage/anger towards them, you cannot feel them accurately (when you believe that you can). This can lead to condescending and arrogant attitudes towards women.
If you choose to analyse your own thread, you are addictively sharing a story with the forum. Also, because you have not yet begun to address these issues, you have posted here in the same addictions that were previously highlighted. There is no real desire for engagement with others OR a desire to learn/ask questions about principles of Divine Truth to help with your own understanding of these issues. It is a self involved post covered with a facade of sincerity, particularly early on in the post. A 3rd amber strike and mute will be added to your forum account at this time due to a number of breaches of the terms of use document.
Cheers
Nicky
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