Just in case you haven't seen it here is a link to a thread where partner or potential soulmate attraction was being discussed and Mary gives feedback/information on how demands and expectations from women are out of harmony with love, in fact how we feel we are entitled to feel like that - that it's normal and ok.
Also here is an extract of a comment Mary made on her blog some time ago which you can find in full in the comments section here: http://mary.divinetruth.com/2013/03/03/ ... /#comments
"In fact, I see that you are far more the way that I have been, especially when I first met AJ i.e. you believe that you are alright and if your soulmate would only change and want you and life on your terms, then things would be OK.
You are overlooking what heavy judgements you have towards this man! This is really repelling for him – and will be especially so if he is the other half of your soul (since it is the other half of himself, who he is naturally more sensitive to, sending the message that he isn’t good enough). This man is already feeling so many demands from his environment and childhood that he feels smothered and just wants to escape in any way possible (his lifestyle demonstrates this). Your projections add to these feelings since they are in fact giving him a list of things he needs to live up to.
Whether you realise it or not, your projections at him are intense and you have very many holes within yourself that you would like him to fill rather than you heal them for yourself. If you took initiative in your development to see your own arrogance and deal with your demands and neediness with males you would have something to OFFER your soulmate – (rather than the current list of demands and roles you would like him to fulfil for you). This more loving state would be very ATTRACTIVE to your other half.
As I said, in this way you are very much like ME when AJ and I first met. You are also like the women in the stories at the beginning of this post – they are offered gifts and reject them because these gifts don’t not meet their emotional addictions.
God’s creation of the other half of our soul is a GIFT to us. When we judge their current emotional condition as problematic we demonstrate a rejection not only of them, (which is in reality the other half of us), but also a severe lack of compassion for the pain they have suffered during their life on earth. Through this very act of judgement we demonstrate that our attitude and feelings towards them are driven by what we want to GET from them, rather than desiring to love them and know them regardless of how they feel about us.
When we have a pure feeling for our soulmate we wish to love them no matter what their situation or projections towards us. We view them as gifts, and treat them as the treasured other half of our soul (not someone we wish would smarten up and start ‘loving’ us) – we feel this way no matter what their condition. You don’t feel this way about your soulmate which signals that you have healing to do in order to attract your soulmate into your life.
This gift of unconditional love and acceptance that AJ has constantly offered me since our meeting has been life changing. He was personally humble to his pain about my judgements and rejection of him and was therefore still able to display love towards me. This takes a very spiritually evolved guy. The guy that you have your eye on still has more wounds than AJ did when we met and so it is natural that he feels repelled by you while you hold onto demand and judgments of him (if you feel about it – even your comment here reveals your judgements of him).
I point this out publicly because I see this reflected in many women I know (and so feel this message may benefit more than just you). There seems to be a common conception among these women that if only they could find a lovely, self-aware, spiritual guy (the implication is – someone just like themselves) then all of their relationship woes would be over. This attitude is some serious lack of regard for how their personal emotional and spiritual condition is actually REPELLING men from their lives.
Someone actually said to me recently that they wouldn’t mind having a soulmate if it their soulmate was AJ/ someone like AJ. This statement reveals many things but key among them is the feeling that life would be a breeze if their soulmate was spiritually aware and loving. The truth is more likely to be that these women would react just like I did if they attracted a loving man into their lives i.e. they would find it difficult to even RECOGNISE these qualities, they would judge the man and reject him, because their REAL desire is to have their addictions met, or at the very least for their addictions to remain unchallenged.
What I see are many, many women who are arrogantly making assumptions about their level of spiritual development, and feeling impatient and judgmental towards men. Many of the things I see these women judging in men are actually good qualities that the men already have and the women would benefit from developing. Equally many of the qualities I see women being proud of in themselves are actually injuries in love that will need to be healed if they are to grow closer to God and their mate.
For example I see some of these women telling themselves that they are an independent woman who can create on her own. They are proud of their ‘development’ in this area.
And indeed there is no doubt that God desires all of His children to take responsibility for themselves, to not rely on others for their sense of worth or security, and to confidently create in their passions.
However I don’t see that level of development in most of these women. If I did I would observe a women who is RELAXED, friendly, confident, creating freely and abundantly, who is open to change, and to others.
Instead I see women who are very addicted to CONTROL (which is actually living in fear) and comfort. They have built lives so rigid that there is literally no room for a man’s self-expression. Everything must be on the woman’s terms – otherwise he is ‘taking over’ and stifling her. A guy doesn’t get an emotional or physical look in.
In reality when two halves of a soul come together they desire the expression and experience of the other AS MUCH AS they desire their own. They want to give to their mate, to learn from them, to know them. They recognise the expression of the other half of themselves as precious and a potential way to learn more about themselves and their pure personality.
Marina, in sincerity and respect I don’t see this attitude reflected in you, so I cannot agree that you are like AJ in any way regarding soulmate issues.
It is only when you (or your other half) begin to develop more pure feelings about soulmates that he will be attracted into your life. This requires sincere self-reflection and a dedication to humility. It can become a type of laziness and avoidance to simply stay in the belief that ‘oh well, I’m ready for him once he sorts himself out’ (that is the feeling I felt from you in Dallas and again in this comment). The reality is that as your soul becomes more loving and accepting of your soulmate he WILL be attracted into your life – no matter what his condition.
Anyway my sister, as my soulmate often says ‘it is the things we don’t see about ourselves that are the hardest to heal’. Hopefully my speaking up on this issue gives you the opportunity to reflect upon some of the things you aren’t seeing in yourself, especially the demands and expectations you place on the men in your life.
With my love,
p.s. Please excuse my use of capitals here – this is the only way I can emphasise words in the comments section.
Also, I wish to be clear that I am not in this response to Marina implying that women have all the work to do when it comes to soulmate relationships!! Regardless of our gender, until we are at-one with God we will have injuries to heal regarding our soulmate relationship and our self-concept (which impacts on how we relate to our soul mate). This includes my soulmate at this present time.
However I have been very direct and specific here about a pattern of injuries I see in MANY women that I come into contact with.
I do believe this feedback is relevant to Marina and by posting publicly I am hopefully providing some food for self-reflection on the part of others who may not be attracting their soul mates into their lives.