Refugees in Germany and sexual abuse on New Year Eve.

[Idalia Munoz]

Hi , I am Idalia,

I am a foreigner in this land. Since months ago,I had felt people's fear, anger and anxiety related for the waves of refugees in Germany.
Lately, in Cologne, the news of "immigrants" organized in order to create a sexual abuse on women for New Year's Eve (2015),
had been a shock, some try to ignore it and other just run away from foreigners, but the news keep creating more hate and fears.

There is a shelter place for refugees a block from my home. Is dark in Germany for this time of the year but I don't get afraid to walk my dog Lucy at evenings. I didn‘t know what was going on, because I don't like to watch news (maybe I should and confront fears) but few days ago, I recalled one evening when I couldn't see people walking their dogs around the area. Even the guys weren't walking their dogs.

Until later, I knew from a friend what had happened in Cologne and my husband said there were women raped and their partners as well the police weren't able to protect these women.

This is triggering some fears on me, but I am confused about it: There is the social consciousness of the country and the wave of refugees
coming daily here and germans get angrier and angrier. How can I find out what is the real trigger on me, as a woman and as a foreigner ?
I always felt a heavy pulling on this land, and feel stuck. In the other hand, now I am thinking that if I leave then I will miss this opportunity to face my fears.

Before all this, I was thinking to become a volunteer, and many times I walked around with Lucy and pass by the refugees's shelter
I had the intention to sign in, but there was this fear not to be like by them. Now, I don't know if I should keep walking my dog around the shelter.

Any thoughts? Please?

Idalia