Introducing myself

[mathewcostin]

Hey Guys,

Sorry if this post is a little late Nicky. Because I used my real name when I created an account I figured that would be enough.

But with the updated anonymity guideline, I'd like to briefly introduce myself.

My name is Mathew. I'm 30 years old. I grew up on the south coast of Western Australia, my dad suicided when I was young and I lived with my mum and younger brother on our small farm, till I eventually headed to boarding school in my later teens.

I've been engaging Divine Truth and Relationship With God in my life for about the past 5 years.

It's pretty sobering to say this. Because for the past 2.5 I've been so heavily engaged with pushing forward with certain activities and obsessions in my life - that I've let my relationship with God go by the wayside, and my attitude towards my brother and sister Mary and Jesus, hasn't really been very nice - I think blaming them for my lack of humility and for being God's Way feeling hard.

Mostly I've been obsessively engaged with spirits in an exhaustive, negative spiral of pressure, popularity and success obsession, sexual deviance and internet addiction.
When I' not trying desperately to earn love or avoid my fears - when I'm humble I'm actually a really beautiful human being who genuinely loves his brothers and sisters and really missed his connection with God.

Currently, after more than two years of running myself ragged at film and acting school in Sydney - I've become depressed, burnt out, quite physically unwell and feel further from God than when I first took on what my big bro Jesus was saying on the first Divine Truth video I ever watched.

I still love acting and telling stories and stuff - but I'm realising I can't keep treating myself so badly, being in addiction to avoid the resulting overwhelm, and living for tomorrow rather than experiencing my life right now.

Then, this forum comes along. So thankyou so much Nicky, and to Jesus and Mary for your support and guidance for creating this wonderful gift.

I read quite a lot of posts, but haven't really responded much because I can see in my own behaviour that what I may write, isn't in line with my actions in My life, so it's not truth that lives inside my heart - though sometimes, like what was explained in Mary's recent blog post about spirit attack, I feel I deny what my soul knows to be true, to satisfy my fears of spirits attacking me and encouraging others to attack and vilify me.

For reference here is the link to that blog post:
http://mary.divinetruth.com/2015/09/04/ ... -a-letter/

[Alkhemst]

Hey Matt,

I always liked hearing your point of view on other forums and so encourage you to go on sharing your passion for God here as Nicky's doing a great job upkeeping this place based on love. That also means a good guage to know if / when it's passion or addiction we're in is on offer - which is scary perhaps but cool too if you ask me!

Maybe I'm in the same boat as you, I haven't as yet wanted to really accept the gift of AJ and Mary's teachings, to be honest I struggle with it and have outright wanted to reject it many times and its been about 5 years for me too since first hearing "I'm Jesus deal with it!"

I'm also no stranger to self punishment either, sexual addiction, shame and fear of judgement. Some of that Im addressing more now going through SAA (sex addicts anoynomous) 12 steps which Im really greatful to be in.

I just reckon that if those of us can talk through some of the pitfall we've experienced being on and mostly of "the Way", it could be a real gift to others and might just help them navigate through - who knows? I just felt inspired to help and if / when there's addiction in it, and that gets called out, I'm just going to end up knowing myself better. So its a win win all in all.

David

[Nicky]

Hi Matt

No worries, no need to apologise. As you registered with your name initially, you are not in breach of the updated terms of use.

Welcome to the forums, I enjoyed reading your intro post. Yes I feel Mary's spirit attack blog post is extremely important to read. I'm pretty sure all of us have experienced it. I certainly have and still do receive attack from spirits often when I am in resistance to feeling a "negative" emotion.

Nice to meet you

Nicky

[Jennifer Brownson]

Hi Mathew,
I am really glad you are here and offered a insightful introduction, as I have wondered how you have been and what you have been up to. I too am in a phase of looking more honestly at my own development or lack of, and it is really humbling. I look forward to hearing from you here in this amazing, supportive-of-Truth-and-Love forum. Hugs to you, brother.