Hello, my name is Monique.
I live in Australia and i guess have been one of those "unprogressive" examples on videos - someone who has watched Jesus and Mary for 6 years, had close personal interactions with them and many others here but with no real sincerity, desire for personal change, truth to love or grow - just a well-polished facade of the above. Clearly a model for no change, just circular, destructive patterns of abuse to others and a growing facade of arrogance, superiority, power, control, delusion and spirit influence...
Alex and I were banned (after receiving many emails/assistance from Mary and Jesus) from attending any more Divine Truth events and not permitted to make contact (me only) due to my unwillingness to change on this abusive treatment. This was hard for my ego to take at first and for a long time, but time out for 2 years has been the BEST gift they could've given us - that someone could love us enough to spend the time and effort and say "No more! You are not allowed to treat people like this!" Time out is a gift!
I have realised that I don't have my shit together, I am not a success and under all that superiority, I just feel pretty bad about myself, actually the opposite to what I've been projecting. The harsh truth is that by denying this feeling I have been beating up on everyone else's hurt child and pulling them down, and creating more hurt. This was done behind a smiling face of "nice girl" and so anyone who couldn't feel me, wouldn't know my underhanded, deceptive power plays. I have hurt many people on the path and in my life and been in isolation for 2 + years from people on the path. We moved away too.
It has been a hard road to slowly de-construct (with lots of spirit battles) some of these facades, piece by piece, patiently but with after some time, the knowledge that it can be done, I just have to stick at it, want it, pray with all my heart and GOD comes running to the party and makes all things possible. Nothing is impossible to God. With God, we can make it! Jesus is so right in that prayer, faith and a strong will to change, to start to love, and grow. And as I am stepping, my faith grows and truth comes more and I know that God is ALWAYS there for me and has gotten me over the biggest mountains of spirit influence that any sane person would turn away from and say, "thats impossible!" Nope GOD MAKES IT ALL POSSIBLE! And He does it again and again. And then these unexpected gifts come, glimpses of beauty start entering my life, like a real feeling of love for another, the sweetness of God, the delicacy of a truth and feeling open-hearted love for my mate and for myself (never happened) - at 38 - it IS WORTH every bit of the hard slog - and in fact, just makes me want more!
I look forward to getting to know some people here. I also feel priveledged to be a part of this forum and thank you Nicky who has provided a space for us to learn and grow. It was great seeing you at asst grps! You were a real inspiration to me, along with many other who asked so many great q's and put themselves out there!
With Love,
your sister Monique
Hi
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Re: Hi
Hi Monique
Welcome to the forum. I enjoyed reading the bit where you are sharing the "dark side" of yourself which we all have to varying degrees, but many are afraid to be honest with themselves about it.
I hope you can benefit from your time here and find it useful in your development.
Nice to meet you.
Nicky
Welcome to the forum. I enjoyed reading the bit where you are sharing the "dark side" of yourself which we all have to varying degrees, but many are afraid to be honest with themselves about it.
I hope you can benefit from your time here and find it useful in your development.
Nice to meet you.
Nicky
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