Hi from Brenda Hoffman in Texas, USA
Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:23 pm
Hi, I'm 50 years old and have been watching DT videos since September 2015. I've had a longtime interest in searching for truth about God, Love, metaphysics, the universe, why the world is the way it is and how it got that way. Since my 30s, I've taken turns throwing myself deeply into new age teachings, Christianity, Judaism, atheism, and a rejection of all of them. But I've always been drawn back to teachings of Jesus, especially teachings of unconditional love from the bible. Since I found the churches teachings to be wrong and often downright harmful, I enjoyed delving into my own studies of Ancient biblical Greek. I found that just about every time I was drawn to study and translate a particular saying or teaching of Jesus' in the bible, I found that the words in Greek opened up a deeper, more touching and transformative understanding of what was being said, often stopping me in my tracks and bringing me to tears and the question "why isn't the church teaching this" and "why was this translated in such a misleading way?"
To a degree I've become curious about various belief systems and why people take them on. I've taken on many of them myself for a time before finding serious, harmful flaws and eventually discarding each one.
One day I became especially curious about cults, what drew people in and kept them there. I didn't want to just see what people outside the cults had to say about them, but I wanted to see words and videos by members themselves. While watching videos about moonies and heaven's gate, I kept seeing a "related video" pop up about a " dangerous new cult" in Australia led by a guy claiming to be Jesus. Finally I clicked on it and by the way he was portrayed I thought he was indeed a cult leader. But again I wanted to find something in his own words to see it from an inside point of view.
I found the YouTube channel and videos. At first I was a bit afraid to begin watching. "Am I gonna get sucked into yet another belief system for awhile?" But I was curious so I began watching. Wow, this guy seemed to have his head on more straight than anyone I've ever heard. So I decided to start from the beginning and watch the suggested playlist starting with Secrets of the Universe. I couldn't stop watching. And it drew my pessimistic husband from the other room and he couldn't stop watching.
It wasn't until a couple weeks later a memory came back to me. Back in 2003 when I really became especially interest in learning spiritual and metaphysical things, reading about numerology, Angels, conversations with God, etc., one night I had a "dream" that I was in the front row in a room where Jesus (I knew in the dream it was Jesus) was using a white board to draw diagrams while explaining many mysteries about life and the universe. There was a doorway to my left and someone standing in the doorway. I didn't know where I was but I assumed I was in a classroom in heaven. I was so happy, thrilled and blown away that I was learning truths beyond my wildest dreams. I loved it and was so grateful to be there. I knew my physical body was asleep at the time and hoped that I would remember everything when I awoke. Then I thought " of course I will, this is too awesome to forget."
When I awoke, I forgot what I was taught, I only remembered that I was there and that I was taught awesome truths.
So once I remembered that experience, I realized that this was likely Jesus, but even without that memory I would have kept watching and taking AJ's advice to experiment with the information. Because I have experimented, and I have found so far the teachings to be true. My life has been transforming ever since. My desire to be close to God has been growing, my desire to do harm has been decreasing.
AJ and Mary's teachings have been helping me to make sense of my thoughts and feelings and what I attract into my life, and has made sense of many things about relationships and the world that I couldn't make sense of, since so many things seemed wrong or skewed to me while seeming perfectly fine to most people around me. But when watching the videos and hearing AJ talk about all the unloving things that we do in the world, I'm like "Yes, exactly! That's what I thought!"
The past 10 years I had withdrawn more and more into a hermit-like existence, tired of the pain and discomfort I felt while interacting in the world. While interacting, I was often defensive or rebellious, afraid of disapproval, attack or being hated or rejected.
Through more sincere prayer and wanting to know why I had so much anger and fear, I discovered that I was unwanted from the womb. I confirmed from my mom that it was true. I was unwelcome in the world from the beginning and my childhood memories are of being treated mostly that way by my parents and 2 older siblings. I have continued to feel unwanted and rejected a great deal ever since.
What a relief to understand the cause! I've since been intermittently been praying and feeling emotions and gradually gaining clarity on my feelings and choosing to emerge from my hermit's life. I chose to challenge some of my worst fears by becoming a truck driver (to team drive all over the country with husband). I have a great fear of angry men, and I had to go out on my over-the-road training and spend 24 hours a day in a truck with an angry man. I took a lot of his abuse until I realized how unloving it was to myself to put up with it. I was terrified to confront him but I did it anyway and I cried in front of him and others and I requested another trainer. The second was a man who, while much kinder, did like to make fun of me. This is another fear of mine. Being afraid to do something that would invite ridicule from men. Every waking moment during road training was facing my hardest fears regarding men. I was so relieved to be finished with the training but I'm still working on facing my fears with men and trying to remember to feel what I feel rather than resorting to anger.
I've realized I must have a group of angry men spirits with me because I hear harsh criticism in my head over most every little thing I do. I always thought it was justified self-criticism but have realized how unloving these words are and how much they perpetuate the fears.
In the past year and a half I think I have watched all the videos. They continue to help me to grow in humility and a desire to grow in truth and love. They help me stay aware of how much forgiving and repenting I've yet to do. They help me to want to stay on the path and remember that God loves me no matter what and that I can always grow in my relationship with God, I can always ask for help and always receive it if I truly want it. And I continue to keep finding out that this is true.
I'm so grateful to God for his loving ways, and so grateful for Jesus and Mary for sharing and teaching about God's love and truth, and grate to all who contribute to this work.
To a degree I've become curious about various belief systems and why people take them on. I've taken on many of them myself for a time before finding serious, harmful flaws and eventually discarding each one.
One day I became especially curious about cults, what drew people in and kept them there. I didn't want to just see what people outside the cults had to say about them, but I wanted to see words and videos by members themselves. While watching videos about moonies and heaven's gate, I kept seeing a "related video" pop up about a " dangerous new cult" in Australia led by a guy claiming to be Jesus. Finally I clicked on it and by the way he was portrayed I thought he was indeed a cult leader. But again I wanted to find something in his own words to see it from an inside point of view.
I found the YouTube channel and videos. At first I was a bit afraid to begin watching. "Am I gonna get sucked into yet another belief system for awhile?" But I was curious so I began watching. Wow, this guy seemed to have his head on more straight than anyone I've ever heard. So I decided to start from the beginning and watch the suggested playlist starting with Secrets of the Universe. I couldn't stop watching. And it drew my pessimistic husband from the other room and he couldn't stop watching.
It wasn't until a couple weeks later a memory came back to me. Back in 2003 when I really became especially interest in learning spiritual and metaphysical things, reading about numerology, Angels, conversations with God, etc., one night I had a "dream" that I was in the front row in a room where Jesus (I knew in the dream it was Jesus) was using a white board to draw diagrams while explaining many mysteries about life and the universe. There was a doorway to my left and someone standing in the doorway. I didn't know where I was but I assumed I was in a classroom in heaven. I was so happy, thrilled and blown away that I was learning truths beyond my wildest dreams. I loved it and was so grateful to be there. I knew my physical body was asleep at the time and hoped that I would remember everything when I awoke. Then I thought " of course I will, this is too awesome to forget."
When I awoke, I forgot what I was taught, I only remembered that I was there and that I was taught awesome truths.
So once I remembered that experience, I realized that this was likely Jesus, but even without that memory I would have kept watching and taking AJ's advice to experiment with the information. Because I have experimented, and I have found so far the teachings to be true. My life has been transforming ever since. My desire to be close to God has been growing, my desire to do harm has been decreasing.
AJ and Mary's teachings have been helping me to make sense of my thoughts and feelings and what I attract into my life, and has made sense of many things about relationships and the world that I couldn't make sense of, since so many things seemed wrong or skewed to me while seeming perfectly fine to most people around me. But when watching the videos and hearing AJ talk about all the unloving things that we do in the world, I'm like "Yes, exactly! That's what I thought!"
The past 10 years I had withdrawn more and more into a hermit-like existence, tired of the pain and discomfort I felt while interacting in the world. While interacting, I was often defensive or rebellious, afraid of disapproval, attack or being hated or rejected.
Through more sincere prayer and wanting to know why I had so much anger and fear, I discovered that I was unwanted from the womb. I confirmed from my mom that it was true. I was unwelcome in the world from the beginning and my childhood memories are of being treated mostly that way by my parents and 2 older siblings. I have continued to feel unwanted and rejected a great deal ever since.
What a relief to understand the cause! I've since been intermittently been praying and feeling emotions and gradually gaining clarity on my feelings and choosing to emerge from my hermit's life. I chose to challenge some of my worst fears by becoming a truck driver (to team drive all over the country with husband). I have a great fear of angry men, and I had to go out on my over-the-road training and spend 24 hours a day in a truck with an angry man. I took a lot of his abuse until I realized how unloving it was to myself to put up with it. I was terrified to confront him but I did it anyway and I cried in front of him and others and I requested another trainer. The second was a man who, while much kinder, did like to make fun of me. This is another fear of mine. Being afraid to do something that would invite ridicule from men. Every waking moment during road training was facing my hardest fears regarding men. I was so relieved to be finished with the training but I'm still working on facing my fears with men and trying to remember to feel what I feel rather than resorting to anger.
I've realized I must have a group of angry men spirits with me because I hear harsh criticism in my head over most every little thing I do. I always thought it was justified self-criticism but have realized how unloving these words are and how much they perpetuate the fears.
In the past year and a half I think I have watched all the videos. They continue to help me to grow in humility and a desire to grow in truth and love. They help me stay aware of how much forgiving and repenting I've yet to do. They help me to want to stay on the path and remember that God loves me no matter what and that I can always grow in my relationship with God, I can always ask for help and always receive it if I truly want it. And I continue to keep finding out that this is true.
I'm so grateful to God for his loving ways, and so grateful for Jesus and Mary for sharing and teaching about God's love and truth, and grate to all who contribute to this work.