Blocks and Addictions

[Eloisa]

This is a response to something Julie Bennion wrote under another heading but I felt my response belonged under the addictions section, so here it is.

Hi Julie and others who may read this post,

I feel your response where you mention the following feelings:

including... feeling scared, exposed, pained, some brief I" suck", "I want to quit" reaction

are your real feelings and they need to be felt.
I would focus on these and feeling them fully. In fact I would go as far as to say give up trying to convince and tell yourself other things and just focus on feeling the real feelings.

You have an opportunity to feel your real feelings, which came up with the feedback. All the above feelings are feelings or blocks that you need to feel about, they are how you really feel at this time and to progress you need to feel how you really feel. They are not God’s Truth, but they are blocks and feelings that need to be removed from your soul.

Once you release these for real then you won’t have the feeling that it’s hopeless and you want to quit, but if you don’t feel how much you want to, then it will keep coming up until you do. With our blocks and addictions we need to go through an emotional experience in order to feel and heal them, I am finding that working through blocks and addictions is an emotional process.

I suggest to find out what all of your addictions are, work through them and then the real emotions will be exposed, and be much easier to feel. (I suggest Mary’s blog and the Australian Assistance Groups for more information on addictions, façade, becoming your real self, relationship with God etc).
Links below (you will need to search them to find the specific videos):

https://www.youtube.com/user/WizardShak ... ance+group

http://mary.divinetruth.com/

You make the comment:

How I Will to automatically focus on something Else, rather than feel the truth.

This comment indicates that you actually know you try and get away from your feelings and feeling God’s Truth on matters. It is great to know this as now you can do something about it and STOP focusing on the ‘something else’ which is the addiction.

I really encourage you to explore the feelings you initially had more, as I feel they came up, you didn’t like them much and so intellectually tried to tell yourself other things or just focus on other things. The feeling I get is that you want to get away from your real feelings and so you like to have people/spirits tell you the ‘nice’ things and cling to those rather than feeling all the feelings that feel terrible to feel or which you judge.

I am a firm advocate of seeking God’s Truth, and of telling myself God’s Truth, at the same time I realise that I must feel the error that is within me in order to change and grow. I feel it is about finding God’s Truth on a matter and finding out why I do not feel the same way God does about the issue and why I am not in harmony with that Truth. It is vital to not believe my own error and tell myself it is the truth because in any area that I do this I have no chance of changing in a positive direction. It is only when I am truthful about my error, see it for what it is it – as God sees it and sincerely desire to actually feel through it, that I have the opportunity to change.

I am finding that my blocks and addictions are the places to begin, they come up constantly and consistently, I have had feelings of hopelessness and feeling like ‘I want to give up’ and when I have sincerely and truthfully felt how much I want to do this, without judgement, I have often opened up more, and ironically had more desire to keep feeling.

I feel I am and have been working through blocks, false beliefs and recently begun looking at my addictions more sincerely. All of these things are what stand in the way of my causal emotions and though sometimes the deeper feelings come up now, often they are still very supressed and I know that until I go through the top layers I will not be able to genuinely get further.

I share this with all my encouragement to feel what you feel, when you feel it:

scared, exposed, pained," stuck", "I want to quit"

(for others reading this enter the emotions that you have and feel those fully)

All the best

Eloisa

[julie_bennion]

Wow, it is so good to be truthfully seen! With tears I feel Yes Yes Yes and am deeply grateful for your seeing & understanding Eloisa. This is a new experience ~ to feel truthfully & lovingly seen in my errors. Truth & love is what I feel coming through your words of encouragement and advice.

Really, Thank You So Much!

[Sage]

Thanks Eloisa for your candid response, as always your love shows through in your words and I appreciate the way you demonstrate progressing on the way in that loving space.

I am grateful to hear all of your advice to Julie, it could just have easily been written to me as it is so applicable. The thread that has been exposed for me is my own judgement of where I am and where I am growing towards (in my heart I still feel 'where I should be'). There is such strength in feeling your emotions without judgement, something I aspire to. I know that the only way to get there is to feel those judgements fully, to understand at a soul level the error of them and to allow the truth to enter. I am still struggling, and I hope as I continue at it the struggle will cease and I can work through my errors and injuries in a more loving way. It was so very nice to read and be reminded of:

All of these things are what stand in the way of my causal emotions and though sometimes the deeper feelings come up now, often they are still very supressed and I know that until I go through the top layers I will not be able to genuinely get further.

I am working on a set of emotions having to do with doing it right, right now, being 'perfect' or at least appearing that way and denying the truth of my true feelings while I'm at it. These are blocks that stop me from progressing and what I too would categorize as top layers. I appreciate the reminder that I need to go through these 'layers' (blocks, resistances, denials) before I can get to the causal emotions. I am noticing that even though I have yet to get through one major causal emotion I am still feeling different in my life, more open, more loving (towards myself and others), more easily able to redirect myself away from my addictions and distractions towards the feelings I am avoiding (although not consistently or completely yet), and more and more encouraged in the experiment; building Faith.

I am learning to soften and have patience, both of which are often covered by my addictions to 'doing it right' and self judgement, just another layer to work through I guess.

I feel sometimes that since I intellectually know some of God's Truth I should automatically be acting and feeling in accordance with it and I judge myself for not doing so. It is a nice reminder and lesson :

I am finding that my blocks and addictions are the places to begin, they come up constantly and consistently, I have had feelings of hopelessness and feeling like ‘I want to give up’ and when I have sincerely and truthfully felt how much I want to do this, without judgement, I have often opened up more, and ironically had more desire to keep feeling.

Thanks again for sharing. I too want to offer encouragement to everyone to keep feeling what you feel when you feel it! (so nicely put Eloisa).

Sage