Spirit influence and God's helpful personality

[Matt Mondragon]

Hey! Just wondering if anyone's had similar experiences..

I'm finding that the more sensitive I become and the more often I experiment with prayer the better equipped I am in recognizing God's feelings apart from the assisting hearts of the spirits who have received a fair amount of God's love. An issue I sometimes still come across when re-developing a desire to feel God's emotions—after a bout with addiction and a defiant heart— is getting to the point where I start to feel confident that it's God I'm actually feeling. For myself I do feel there are spirits involved in trying to give me energy that doesn't feel anything like love but does feel revitalizing—or maybe just a "boost" for a better word. The energy—and I call it energy because it feels more like the energetic physical response of the body when pushed into a deep yoga stretch— it helps me to relax but it doesn't feel like love. At the exact moment I receive this energy I've found that I have the opportunity to investigate it's source by checking my personal intention. If my intention is just to feel some comfort then—I feel—it's usually spirit influence. If in this moment I choose to move my intention back to this desire to connect with my very ambitious heart-loving parent—who is everywhere and constantly wanting to share love with me and heal me using everything around me—I can feel a disturbance with this energetic connection just before it begins to recede. It's almost like this connection wants to recede quickly—as if to not expose itself. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Because I have felt God's love before, feeling anything less than what I've previously received from God is easily identified—even if it's been months—and this appears to be a very helpful characteristic that can be developed by humans and used to gauge whether or not God is involved. Can anyone relate?

A couple things about God I feel, if you will. God's desire to connect with me and willingness to grant me as long as it takes—knowing my lack of sincerity at times—has assisted me through so many addictions. This characteristic of God kept me in bed longer praying for help when I started to feel excited about giving my self something to alleviate the pain. I'd only remind myself of this very gentle soul who knows my full potential and the root of this pain. I'd remind myself that God never wanted it to be this way and would do absolutely anything in God's power to assist me through. I'm always surprised by God's gentleness and patience on every matter—where does the extent of these qualities end? Knowing that someone this loving has created all that we know helps me to understand the type of prayer I'd like to have during these painful moments—asking to share love with God! It's this one characteristic of God that is responsible for me knowing that if I feel my addictions and resist them I could feel and understand more of God using prayer. As a result, my intention and sincerity refine and grow stronger—evolving my overall method of prayer.

I don't know how many times I tried to have my addictions first, with God on the side. Prayer is impossible as long as my main motivation for comfort is receiving something from my external environment over God's counsel. When I try and pray under these conditions I feel easily influenced by spirits who want to give me that revitalizing flow of energy and often project feelings and images of what I could have if I need a break from what seems to be a waste of time. I'd sometimes even feel like it's only a momentary waste of time—almost like God's on a coffee break and you should take one too. Just getting to the point of wanting a connection with God again would sometimes take weeks. After I consume an addiction it never feels worth it in comparison to where I was just before I caved in. At the moment, just the thought of giving myself something remedial feels addictive and damaging.

Getting into a condition that God can work with is very difficult, but staying there is by far the greatest challenge I've ever encountered. I now know it's a sin to avoid the issues arriving into my heart and I feel like this is the reason it's taking me progressively longer to get to this point—after falling off the wagon. It does get longer and longer to get there, doesn't it?

Thanks for hearing me out! Would love to hear about your similar experiences, questions or super helpful critiques!

[maureen]

Hi Matt....regarding the spirit exchanges part...you may find this material helpful. Here in the document Processing Addictions in the section on How Spirits Draw Energy From Us (starting on page 30) Jesus talks about the exchanges of energies we engage with spirits (both draining and invigorating), how it transpires and why it is happening and he points to some of the directions we can look in for more clarity about our personal motives for engaging some of these specific transactions with spirits.

Cheers,
Maureen

[Matt Mondragon]

That was perfect Maureen.

Needed that. Thank you. The way Jesus broke down the reason for spirit influence over ourselves and the methods spirits use to attach to us and how it happens "scientifically" was huge but the processing addiction's portion led me into a big injury I have, major breakthroughs. I know this section of the forum is suppose to be about prayer but for those of us who have issues with sincerity within our prayers to God, the addictions gotta go (especially physical addictions). The emotional addictions are a different ball game. If we can get there, what a gift we receive when we're finally able to identify whether or not we are connecting to God, a spirit, or a group of spirits. This is a big deal in our development towards Faith and just knowing God's feelings in general.


Thanks again!

Matt

[Matt Mondragon]

As I re-read my two posts here I want to apologize to anyone who made it this far in this thread. My language is pushy and the dialogue is self-serving and the emotions driving these posts were injuries pertaining to acceptance. At the time I posted this topic I felt like, "I've had these experiences let's help these people and prove to them where I'm at on this path," instead of simply sharing with you all. After spending sometime away from the forum and dealing with some self-worth issues I now feel very attracted to coming clean about this post.