Same injury, different attraction events

My LoA sucks right now!
Phoebe Bruce
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Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Phoebe Bruce » Thu Jan 14, 2016 2:33 am

Hello there,

I have been pondering this question a lot and thought I would attempt to share in case someone has some light they may shed on it.

So I have an underlying emotional injury which causes me to act in ways that desperately want a man’s attention and approval. Yet my Law of attraction has brought me a number of relationships, interactions and sexual encounters with men since my childhood, whom almost all have not met this addiction in the sense of what I thought I really wanted –him desiring to be with me above all else and wanting to commit to me and know me and give me all this approval and attention - there’s always been another woman or drugs or drinking and a lack of commitment and desire on the guy’s part mixed in with both also getting addictions met.

Other heterosexual women who have this injury may attract a string of men or a man who is perfectly compatible in his injuries of wanting to placate and please a woman so badly that he makes her his entire life. I feel like to be honest I always thought I wanted this!! (I now see why and how unloving it is!) But I wonder why is it that my soul-based attraction didn’t bring me this? Where in my case the emotional injury seemingly is getting exposed more so (which lead me to through my choices engage many “feel good” addictions rather than feel the sadness) than in the other case of the woman with the “perfect” placating man, even though they may stem from the same injury. It’s like I had more opportunity to grow through so many unsatisfactory experiences (not that I made that choice) than someone who finds themselves in the ‘perfect’ attentive partnership.

I suppose I am wondering what is it that causes the different ‘flavours’ of attraction for different souls, who have similar/same emotional injuries? Is it perhaps the complex relationship between the way different injuries in the soul play out together? Or is it to do with a desire to release the error? At the age of 10, when I first remember the desperate feelings towards a boy and the unrequited “love” I wouldn’t imagine my will was engaged in wanting the error exposed through my LoA.

Anyway,
thanks for your time

Phoebe

LauraR
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by LauraR » Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:24 am

Hello Phoebe,
I have recently been going over my past relationships with men - both romantic and other. I question my law of attraction as well because I haven't had a man in my life romantically for many years - although I think I want one.

However, in reading your post - I think there is an error in the question. I do not believe the women that have men there and doing everything for them would have the same injury as you do. To me it feels like those woman are very demanding of "their" men and the men are acting out of addiction to please.

I believe your injuries are different and even at the end of your post you commented about unrequited love. It seems like that is possibly the emotion you will need to work through. I think it is very close to the emotion I must feel as well.

I hope that helps a bit.

Laura Rule

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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Felicitas » Thu Jan 14, 2016 1:34 pm

Hello Phoebe

I have also been pondering my law of attractions related to my relationships, as I want to attract my soulmate into my life, and it seems similar to yours. I have been attracting emotional or otherwise unavailable men and also unrequited love, the first one when I was 8/9.
I believe at the moment that these attractions relate to my very early childhood years from my relationship with my father, who left my mother when I was 5 years old, and who I have the feeling has projected sexually onto me from very young age, as he didn't get the attention from my mother. And also from my emotional distant but at the same time also overbearing mother, who pined after another man and also projected competitive and hostile feelings onto me because of the attention my father gave me.


I realized also that I had this and I still have this longing /addictions for constant attention and approval from men and that 'my man' needs to makes me his total priority. Just in the recent years I realized that my longings are addictions and that they are demanding and needy - unloving - and that these unloving demands have pushed the men, which in many cases have been already unavailable, away.
Other heterosexual women who have this injury may attract a string of men or a man who is perfectly compatible in his injuries of wanting to placate and please a woman so badly that he makes her his entire life.
I am not sure so if I am referring to the same emotional injury as you do, which is here in my case the injury with my parents, that created my particular set of addictions. I think these women you refer to here have another underlying emotional core injury (very possible they were seen as special by their father and already received constant attention from their father without their father 'leaving' them in some way) and from what I have observed they are not as needy and demanding, it's seems more their energy is expecting the man' s attention as a given and thus the man provides it and in return his addictions are met by the women's approval.

I might not be right in my observations here and welcome feedback.
Thanks for your time

LauraR
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by LauraR » Thu Jan 14, 2016 2:43 pm

Hello Phoebe and Felicitas,
After making my post last night, I went to bed. As I was lying there before falling asleep I was pondering Phoebe's questions more. I felt that the women she was describing had a different injury than hers - however I couldn't "feel" really what that injury would be.
Felicitas, I think you felt the possible cause of those injuries - it does seem like valid reasoning for sure.
Jesus and Mary say we must really know ourselves - feel ourselves - to be able to feel the injuries of others. This is an interesting example for me.
Looking at my childhood, my father was present but my mother was extremely domineering. She was sexually abused as a girl, so she actually kept our father away from us as much as she could. I do remember spending more time with my father than my two sisters, but do not recall any sexual projection. I was more like the son my father didn't have. He used to take me fishing and bowling - would start the lawn mower for me so I could mow the lawn.
I never thought I had an injury related to my father is this regard. Up until the last month, I actually thought I got along well with men. Now I see that is not the case and I actually experience a lot of condesention and anger from them. I now think that I must have more anger towards men than I realized.
I have been doing my best to feel the emotions related to this parental and intergender injury because it is affecting both my relationship with God and my soulmate. It is a lot to feel about, but I am glad that it has finally come to my awareness.
I don't know if there are any videos or even maybe an area on the forum where we can post regarding these specific inter-gender and multi-generational injuries or if continuing this thread is appropriate. Either way I do look forward to hearing about any of your insights. This is very important. The injuries are huge and are inhibiting humans growing in love.
Thank you both for your posts. Being able to openly discuss like this is so helpful for me!
Love to you!
Laura Rule

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Lena
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Lena » Thu Jan 14, 2016 8:37 pm

Hi Phoebe,

I am looking at my relationship with my dad too. And reflecting about my past and current partners.
And there is a lot of similarities to how my dad treated to and how my partners in the past as well as my husband now. It is no wonder, as I have not looked at any of my emotions through out my life or my relationship with my dad.

I could feel couple of things in your post, which I thought I would voice back to you.
One, that the relationships you have attracted were reflecting to you, not what you wanted, but what you didn't get from your farther.
Two, that what you did have in those relationships is what you actually had with your father.
So the one, is that you have longed for the deep connection with the men, as that is something you have missed out on in your childhood.
And the second, that the thing your dad had with you feels like a sexual approval you gave him as this is what he has demanded of you. And that feels like is all you got from him or all he was interested in.

So maybe if you reflect about what was the thing that connected you to your partners. If it wasn't a sincere desire to know each other (which includes him to know you) then what was it.
And I feel that will expose more to you, what you had in your childhood with your dad, or to be more precise is what he wanted from you.

And don't forget that as a child, you were only learning to become self aware, and didn't have your will developed, so of course what has been demanded of you, was given to them. I say this so you don't feel bad about yourself, but rather reflect a out what your dad did to you.

I have a father who has demanded sexual approval from me, as well as projected sexually at me, and my mom was not preventing any of this from happening, as in Russia it is believed women are made for this, however she did project jealousy and rage at me.

So I can see that while I have stuff to deal with my dad, there are many other emotions stringing off the same issue.

I thought I'd mention this, as I was reading you other posts, where you have mentioned that you have feelings of competition with women, which I feel is all about this needing the connection with a man.
I feel, that at least for myself, I attract women who feel they need to compete with me, even I maybe in complete oblivion to it. But that is how my mother felt towards me.
So I wonder, from the set up your dad created with you, if you felt the need to compete for your dad's attention.

These are some difficult emotions you are questioning, and for myself I am just stating to work on, so I know at times it can be confusing and feel like I don't know how I feel, so I think it's great that you are asking questions and investigating this for yourself.
As we spend so much of time in our lifetime seeking the emotions we missed out on, without ever healing the event that caused it all.

Lena

Phoebe Bruce
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Phoebe Bruce » Fri Jan 15, 2016 8:46 am

Thanks all so much for your thoughts, feelings and insights.

Laura and Felicitas, I think you raise a good point, that perhaps there is an error in the question as I do not yet know the causal injury that now works to create my soul attractions with men. And for myself I have realised that the focus needs to be on getting to an understanding intellectually and emotionally of what the cause is of my own attractions rather than questioning and comparing to other's attractions.

Felicitas, it seems perhaps our situations were similar...

Lena, I have been reflecting HEAPS on my ex partners and the common themes and issues in those relationships, but have been yet to take the crucial step as you pointed out to saying "right. so what does this infer about my relationships with my parents?"

I don't remember having much of a relationship with dad at all, he was always at work, up until mum suicided when I was 10. In reflection now I can imagine mum was totally emotionally/physically and sexually unavailable to dad for many years while she battled with depression. And I have seen in dad a desperation in needing a woman in his life since mum's death. So I can only now deduce that that desperation for approval and validation and security must have been projected onto me during mum's withdrawal from him. After mum died all I remember is hatred and rage coming at me from dad, especially when I began sexually exploring at the early age of 13-14.

My last partner had an intense need for sexual approval. I have also had sexual interactions with a number of older men while i was quite a bit younger, all of whom I imagine were seeking sexual approval and validation from the younger woman.

Intellectually i can see puzzle pieces falling into place. But I am yet to really feel what that was like. I can't grasp what it must have felt like to be sexually taken from or projected at by my FATHER.

Similar to you Lena, so many of my interactions and friendships with women have a strong undercurrent of competition. Actually Lena, it's funny that you have replied to both of my threads on this topic, as I have been feeling that I wanted to acknowledge to you that I have felt competitive feelings towards you, too, on a few occasions. We barely know each other, only meeting once or twice, but I have had distinctly hostile feelings towards you and it feels pretty yukky. especially as im beginning to expose some truth around these issues for myself. I'm not emotionally aware of the full extent of the sin of such projections as yet, but I do want to get there. I hope to be truly sorry from my heart Lena. It feels confronting and challenging but good to expose these things!

Thankyou so much for your help

Phoebe

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Eloisa
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Eloisa » Tue Jan 19, 2016 12:23 pm

Hi Phoebe

I feel that the comment you have made towards Lena below, though said quite casually and as though you are being ‘honest and truthful’ is actually a nasty projection and a way of attacking Lena.
Similar to you Lena, so many of my interactions and friendships with women have a strong undercurrent of competition. Actually Lena, it's funny that you have replied to both of my threads on this topic, as I have been feeling that I wanted to acknowledge to you that I have felt competitive feelings towards you, too, on a few occasions. We barely know each other, only meeting once or twice, but I have had distinctly hostile feelings towards you and it feels pretty yukky. especially as im beginning to expose some truth around these issues for myself. I'm not emotionally aware of the full extent of the sin of such projections as yet, but I do want to get there. I hope to be truly sorry from my heart Lena. It feels confronting and challenging but good to expose these things!
When I first read your comment I was like ‘why is she telling Lena this? This is an issue Phoebe has, what is her reason for sharing this information particularly when it feels really attacking?’ I also felt that if I was on the receiving end of your comment I would feel really bad about myself (due to my emotional injuries), Which I feel may be a reason for you making the comment in the first place, to pull Lena down.

The fact that you mention it at all, especially without having felt through any of it emotionally (which you state) I feel demonstrates your insincerity at this point to do so.

I feel that it is really important Phoebe to be honest with yourself about how you feel and to feel through the feelings of competition and hostility you have towards other women, I encourage you to do this, BUT I feel you need to examine your motivations and the need to share these feelings with Lena as they are not kind nor loving and I feel highlight some attacking intentions that you may have towards her, and probably other women also.

I am issuing you with a 1 Amber Strike due to personal attack of another person not being okay on this forum.

Link to terms of use below:

http://www.divinetruthhub.com/wp-conten ... ument5.pdf

All the best with feeling thorough this issue,

Eloisa

* * * * EDIT 20160120* * * *

Jesus and Mary shared some really awesome Truth with us last night which is one of the reasons that I wrote what I have here. I feel that it would be beneficial to many to understand some issues about jealousy and the dynamics between women and how there is a lot of manipulative attack and projections going on that are quite harmful. I feel that Phoebe's expression has opened up a great opportunity to speak about this issue more as I feel that it is an issue that is damaging. More from me to come, I just need to type some stuff up..... :)

* * * *EDIT 20160203* * * * *

Link to post on Jealousy and Addictions:

http://forum.divinetruthhub.com/viewtop ... f=25&t=890

Phoebe Bruce
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Phoebe Bruce » Wed Jan 20, 2016 2:49 am

Hi Eloisa and Lena,

Yes, wow, thank you so much for your feedback Eloisa.

I had some uneasy feeling ever since posting that last post. I thought it was because i was 'exposing' myself publicly and letting people see some of the truth of the feelings I have inside me towards others.

But you have exposed another layer of this to me. My feelings of 'pulling down' another were present in the very act of trying to expose some of my fears around this topic. I actually had thought that i was wanting to somehow reach out to Lena in a more personal way. This shows me my lack of humility on this issue, and how willing I am to deceive myself. This cuts straight through my facade...

Lena, i sincerely feel like I regret my behaviour towards you. I appreciated so much the feedback and suggestions you had given me throughout this thread and it doesn't feel good that i acted in this way, and was so unaware of what i was doing.

Thank you,
Phoebe

Sandra T
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Sandra T » Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:50 am

Hello Eloisa

I have recently emailed Phoebe after my reflections about my addictions with women and how I treat women, my sexual projections that I use to manipulate them with, my jealousy and envy towards them, competition with them, demands expectations of them, feeling superior to them or inferior depending on my judgement of the woman and how she compares to me etc.

I have said that given that this is what I feel towards and project at women, and have listed some of these addictions that involve Phoebe, I asked her if it is loving for Phoebe to engage in interactions with me. I was emotionally overwhelmed while writing this message to her and afterwards felt that I will lose her "friendship" now for sure. I later realised some unloving feelings that I had while writing such a message, with regards to wanting her to punish me by not engaging with me anymore, or perhaps assure me that it's okay, that I'm not as bad as I portray myself to be and also seeing her as better then me on the issue of love (and many other issues in fact), which I believe to be true, but insinuated that it is bad for her to interact with me, as I might tear her down. And, I do see that I do try to tear people down, all the time.

Are you saying that any such interaction, where we have not fully felt through the feelings, will actually always be a form of attack on the other person? I acknowledge that while I have not dealt with the reasons why I harm others and share with them that I do harm them, there could be an issue with placing a demand upon them to do something about it, to manipulate them like I have done towards Phoebe, in order to avoid taking responsibility for my sins towards them. But I fail to see Phoebe's desire to harm Lena in this interaction, and I wonder whether it is because I am blind to the fact that in my own email to her, I have done that towards her also (projecting the actual feelings of jealousy, envy etc. towards her while exposing them)? I know I am dark, I can see more and more evil in how I treat people and the spirit attack I use to poison people with, in all my denied judgments, rage and sleazy addictions. So I am realising how much denial there must be on this issue also.

I have been so resistive to engage the forum, to hide behind my facade and not "get into trouble," but I felt to engage here because I disagree with Phoebe being attacking of Lena, and want to know why I disagree with your evaluation of Phoebe's message to Lena? I also realise that I hate being told truth about myself, so am I just in complete rebellion here, not wanting to know the truth and thus disagreeing? I don't feel this to be the fact here, but denial is my god. I can't help but wonder how Lena feels about this also???

Some questions I have:

Can we ever tell another person, our true feelings towards them and others, without projecting them at the person, since we have not healed them? (I have heard Jesus say too many times now, feel it first, why do you need to share it? so this might be the answer right there - No).

Why do I often find, that by telling the other person the true feelings that I have towards them or on a particular issue, helps me to feel the truth of what is inside of me?

How can we grow in our relationships with others, if we do not discuss the true feelings that come up in our relationships?

Can it not be helpful, when someone tells us how they truly feel towards us, as part of deconstructing their facade, in helping us feel the pain around the fact that people feel such feelings towards us?

Thank you Eloisa

Sandra

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Lena
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Re: Same injury, different attraction events

Post by Lena » Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:18 am

Hi Sandra and whoever is following this thread,

myself and Eloisa are going to write a post about the issue of jealousy, but more importantly we hope to outline some principles of love involved as it was passed on to us by Jesus and Mary, so that those principles can be applied to many other areas of life, not just an example of jealousy.

Since what Sandra wrote is another example and I am sure many other people may have their own, the list could be endless, however if people understood some basic points of love on this matter than it is more likely they would reflect on their own issues using those points.

We will make a new post, and separate Sandra's latest post into that new thread.

cheers,

Lena

P.S.
Sandra, I feel you are still not choosing to change on the issues you are stating you have. And therefore to me you sound hard and intellectual. While still justifying anything that you may be doing that is harming yourself and others, by simply stating that you are bad.

I feel you are intellectually observing yourself doing harm, and adding things to the list of why you are bad, but you are yet to feel anything.

This is what it feels to me, that somehow you are not feeling. Somehow it feels that you are chasing more and more reasons that make you a dark person, but you are yet sincerely work on any one of them.

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