Hi everyone,
I have been reading the threads on this forum for a while and felt like it was a good idea to stop being anonymous! My name's Elise, I am Dutch and born in 1988, making me (now) 27 years old. In 2014/2015 I was backpacking through Australia and was introduced to the basics of Divine Truth in July last year by someone who ended up being my partner! I was intrigued by first learning about these teachings. It somehow just felt right, and almost as if I had known this before. However, I thought I could just do this 'on the side', rather than radically changing my life - I was (and am) stuck in a lot of addictions.
I think I first started trying to apply Divine Truth principles in my every day life in September. I was out of body most of the time, stuck in this dream world - and it took quite a bit of work to stay present. Such a major addiction of mine; and basically trying to avoid feeling anything. Having been used to suppressing my emotions for a long time, I felt really numb and frustrated in the beginning, I just couldn't feel much. However, I have always found it easy to cry, but have since learnt that these are tears either a way of manipulating people, or because it was the only way that was acceptable for me to vent my anger. I am a lot more aware of this now, which is definitely helping. I have also given up meat and dairy, and I am definitely noticing how much more sensitive to my feelings it makes me!
The relationship with my family back in the Netherlands is very strong and tight knit, something I have always valued very much, but is bringing up a lot of fear of disapproval of what I am doing and pursuing. I have told them about Divine Truth, and although they very much appear to be understanding, I can tell that they are quite skeptical.
My mum, even though she has worked very hard on bettering herself (through new age/meditating/yoga), has a lot of fear and was quite controlling when I was a kid (and still is to a certain degree, although I am much more aware of it now). I can talk to her about emotions, but it is all very much from an intellectual/analytical perspective. My dad on the other hand, refuses to acknowledge that he has any emotional depth at all, and consequently lives (heavily) in multiple addictions. Quite recently he had a major Law of Attraction event happening, and has had a really bad accident - but is still refusing to go into anything whatsoever. This brings up a lot of helplessness for me, as I would love to help him - but he will not let me. I therefore have to come to terms with that the next LoA event will potentially be fatal.
Unfortunately I have many fears of my own, both passed down and due to certain events. I have only just begun to trying to work through that. Over the last couple of weeks a lot of terror has come up for me (relating to spirits and a terror of being watched), and even though I was terrified and thought I would drown in it, I have come out the other end a little bit better. I do not kid myself though: I still have masses to work through.
I still have issues surrounding God. I pray daily and would very much like to know God, but I feel like I haven't been very successful thus far. Even though I have been acquainted with religion from an early age, there was always a lot of skepticism: "only fools believe in God". When I am not feeling too great, this can really bother me. I also struggle with handing over my self reliance and it really shows me my lack of faith. There are times though, when I do feel the power of prayer and my faith is definitely building. I would very much like to reach a point in the near future where my belief in God doesn't waver anymore!
Anyway, this introduction is quite a bit longer than I intended it to be, and I am not entirely sure whether it is coherent enough. I am looking forward to learning and growing, and hopefully this forum can be a tool in that process. Thanks Nicky, for creating and moderating this platform - and to Lena and Eloisa for all their input as well!
Cheers, Elise
Nice to meet you!
Re: Nice to meet you!
Hi Elise
Welcome to the forum. It's awesome to see that you have chosen to register and get more involved with things! I hope as a result, you find the time you spend here useful in your development.
Nice to meet you
Nicky
Welcome to the forum. It's awesome to see that you have chosen to register and get more involved with things! I hope as a result, you find the time you spend here useful in your development.
Nice to meet you
Nicky
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Re: Nice to meet you!
Thanks guys!
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